CHALLENGE THE NORM

In every African home or most homes, the belief or norm is "go to school, get a job, fall in love, get married and have kids" forgetting that life doesn't always go as planned. Man proposes and God disposes. Many have lost their self while trying to please the norms while trying to do the things other people do. What works for me might not work for you. A lot of parents have pushed their children to their grave early because of the pressure. You gotta do this and do that. They forget to ask what the child truly wants. Yes parents know what is right for their children but they can't be right at all times. Many at times, a lot of people go to school to study what their parents want and not what they desire. Then when he or she fails, this same parent would shade, criticise and put pressure on the child for not being what they want him or her to be. Okay, they manage to finish school and they are unable to get a job or a befitting job. These parents would still yell and force them to get into what they don't want. A lot of hardened criminals today are like that because of the influence of their parents. Sentences like "your mates are buying cars for their parent" "your friends are wearing designer clothes and getting married" might put a child in a position where he/she has to do what’s wrong to make his parents see him has a worthy child” Marriage wise, the plan is get married and have kids. Plans fail! A lot of circumstances change lives and people are unable to achieve their dreams or aspirations. If your daughter brings home an unwanted pregnancy, it is only humane to be angry but at the same time you need to know what led to it and how you can help. Judging could push her to eventually commit suicide. What if she was raped and she couldn't tell you? What if she was pressurised into having sex and it turned out bad for her? Okay, the first thing the parent will say is "this child you have finally brought shame upon me". Parents should always be careful of what they utter to their children cause it could make them or break them. Okay she gets married under this same pressure from her parents. Falls into wrong hands and after many years she complains she cannot go on with the marriage. She tells her parents. What they tell her is "God forbid. In our family, nobody has ever been divorced. It doesn't happen in our family". Now, your beloved daughter is suffering and smiling because she doesn't want to bring shame to her family. One day, her husband beats her to pulp after she questioned him for being late. And she died. You're crying now. You're sobbing. Forgetting you are the reason she stayed in that marriage. You pushed your daughter to her grave. Now you can't forgive yourself. Before all these happen to you, I would advice you to become a more encouraging parent to your ward. Be the parent who loves, guides, protect the child not compare, nag or judges. Be your child’s peace and they will turn out as you trained them right. #ChallengeTheNorm #ChallengeYourMentality